I didn't intend on buying a dress that had to be dry-cleaned. I found it at Ross, actually. A Calvin Klein dress for $20--what a steal! The excitement must have short-circuited my brain from the common sense to check the washing label. When I got the dress home however, there it was--Dry Clean Only. Crap. Dry-cleaning is something that grown-ups do. Grown-ups with money that live in suburbia and drive BMWs. Right? Right? *sigh*
After I kicked myself repeatedly, I searched online for the tiny possibility that the dress could be washed by hand. Several sites said that hand-washing rayon/spandex was fine, while others said it would be disastrous. As much as I hated to spend extra money on dry-cleaning, it looked like hand-washing would be too risky. I loved the dress and it did fit perfectly...damn.
Off to the dry-cleaners I went, which was weird. And in weird situations I say ridiculous things.
The conversation went somewhat like this:
Me: "Hi! I bought this dress for $20. I usually check labels beforehand but it says to dry-clean only. What do you think?"
Counter Person: "We are a dry cleaners."
Me: "Um, right. I usually don't dry-clean stuff. Do you think it could be hand-washed...by any chance?"
Counter person: *Silence*
Me: "I'll just dry-clean it then. When can I pick it up?"
Counter Person: "6PM."
Me: "Wow, that's fast. Is everything done by machines or do you have to do it all by hand? Do you use chemicals?" *glancing at a row of suits* "They look like they're in body bags. Maybe the chemicals killed them. Haha."
Yeah, I don't think she was impressed either because the conversation kind of degraded from there.
Anyways, I picked up right at six. Didn't want to keep my dress waiting because that's just rude. $7.50, thank you very much. And it was wrapped in a body bag of its own. Somebody let it out because I don't think it can breathe in there.
When I came out of the gym that evening (don't get me started on how weird it is to belong to a gym and live in suburbia) I walked past several cars and noticed that they too, had clothing in body bags. It was like I joined some sort of freaky club. Gawd, shoot me now, I've fallen down the rabbit hole. Excuse me while I go mow my lawn and arrange my flamingos.
In the words of Alice from Lewis Carroll's, Alice in Wonderland:
“It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”