Clarissa Johal: Thoughtful Thursday - The Day Pollen Stole My Life and 5 Simple Solutions

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Thoughtful Thursday - The Day Pollen Stole My Life and 5 Simple Solutions

Photo courtesy of brookenovak via Flickr
Evil pollen. There. I said it. I love trees as much as the next sucker person, but this spring, I've had enough. Last week, I was a useless mess. Running sucked. Ballet sucked. Writing sucked. My sinuses had never been so unhappy and everything took super-human effort. Okay, enough whining.

This week, I've found a sorta-kinda solution: Claritin with a 1/2 shot of nasal spray. Soooo, Claritin makes me jittery. Like, really jittery. No coffee needed because (hooray!) I have Clariton to keep me awake. And because of the dreaded "rebound effect," I can't use the nasal spray for more than 3 days. What's an author to do?

Here are my five simple solutions to spring allergies. Let me know if they work for you.

1) Move to Antarctica I've never considered moving south, but I hear the penguins are lovely this time of year. And with 0 permanent residents, I can't go wrong. I'll have enough quiet time to churn out novel after novel.

2) Hermetically Seal Myself from Head-to-Toe Amazon sells a vacuum sealing system for a mere $69.50. Of course, it's only big enough for cutlets, but I'm sure with a bit of convincing, Foodsaver could be talked into upgrading their model.

3) Exorcise Each and Every Plant  Cast out the demons. Pollen be gone! The power of winter compels you! The power of winter compels you!

4) Condoms Every plant gets one. Yes, yes. I realize that means nothing reproduces. Whatever.

5) Burn it with Fire Torch every single tree because it's the only way. Oh chill. I'm just kidding.

Excuse me while I OD on nasal spray and run a marathon like Speed Racer.


4 comments:

Sapphyria said...

I hear you! I take Allegra everyday, all year long, because it's not just pollen - I'm allergic to what seems like almost everything...cats (and it makes so much sense that 6 of them reside within the walls of my home), dust, and mold, among others.

Your solutions crack me up!

Heather R. Holden said...

LOL, #3 sounds like a fun route to go... XD

Clarissa Johal said...

I haven't tried Allegra (and can't imagine having to take that every day) That sucks! Yes, #3 We'll see if that works...

Sapphyria said...

I forget to take Allegra more times than I care to admit but it prevents me from getting allergy-induced bronchitis every 3 months. I'm supposed to do a nasal spray daily, too, but shooting stuff up my nose doesn't really sound like a good time.

#3 definitely made my laugh out loud!